I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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