when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
