If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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