I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
