woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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