shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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