youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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