i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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