So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
