I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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