is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
