I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
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