Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
