he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize