i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
