Please don't use social media to get back at me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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