It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
