There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
