The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
