also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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