I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize