I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
