Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
