I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
