ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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