I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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