I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
