So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
