btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
