I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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