I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
