My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My penis needs a shock collar
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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