If i come over, it means nothing
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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