I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
