he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
