How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
How does it feel to date your dad?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
