Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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