she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
