my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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