Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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