Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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