Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
