I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize