She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm too high and old for this...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
