I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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