I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
