I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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