All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
