Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
