A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
