; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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