You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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