I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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