i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
