Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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