whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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