I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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