So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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