That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
