Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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