Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
